Long Day with Little Knitting & The Hiatus of The Mood Blanket

Today was a long long long day. With little knitting. The Husbando and I scrambled around trying to find proof of his education as his diploma has been lost in or several moves over five years. Eventually we got a pdf copy of his transcript which sufficiently worked for his new job. Then he went in to finish new hire paperwork, I did chores around the house and made him lunch. We then went to tell his other job offer we were super sorry he couldn't take that job, and to turn in his keys at his old job, and to do grocery shopping and to get new shoes for his new job. I'm hot and tired and a little cranky. But I did get to knit the honey cowl and drink a pumpkin milkshake on the drive!

It's coming along so nicely, I think it's nearly there, nearly done. 

Remember how I said I was starting to resent my Mood Blanket squares a bit? And I didn't want to knit those intentions into it? Well I've been thinking about it a lot, and since I'm growing a little sick of it I think I might take a tiny break from the blanket. Instead of just a one day break or whatever, I might just put it away for now. Knitting is for fun! And it's a HUGE project, and I am growing tired of it. So it's there for when I'm ready for it again. But for now, it's on a break. And I'm okay with that.

So today was a bit stressful and I feel a bit icky now. Overall, I feel like things are going to be looking up from here on out.

I really, REALLY hope so.

Plus look! Pumpkin and Halloween stuff! And the Husbando surprised me with tsum tsum pascal and rapunzel to join me with knitting!

A Severe Lack of Motivation

I have a bad case of IDWTDA or "I Don't Want To Do Anything." It happens sometimes when the weather starts to change and there's been a few days off in a row, or there have been a lot of busy days all lumped together.

The symptoms of IDWTDA are:

• Lazing around on the couch, sometimes in pajamas, usually with ones hair pulled back into a sloppy bun or ponytail
• A general look of vacancy, usually into ones phone, tablet, or other handheld Internet device (rest assured they are using said device for click bait or vines, not productive things)
• A grumpy attitude, moaning, and eye rolling whenever asked to do something, followed by a "can't youuuuuuu do it???"
• Putting of things until the last possible second-and I mean last. Husband's work clothes need to be put in the dryer? Don't put them in until 10 minutes before he has to go. They will be dry before he has to leave, surely. 

There are even rumors that IDWTDA is contagious, that seeing your lack of motivation and bad attitude will slowly seep into any roaming mini humans you have. I have yet to see this first hand, but beware of it. 

Because of this, I did not cast on for the second Snow Day Slipper today. Instead I sat on the couch and occasionally knit on my Honey Cowl. I know, I said I was going to be the Most Productive Person in the World this week. That I would Totally Have All My WIPS Done. 

I so overestimated my knitting ability. It's Friday and I have one slipper done. I knit an inch on the Nell's Sea Silk Scarf. And instead of chugging away at the slipper that I probably could finish by Sunday I'm working on a cowl that I probably can't finish by Sunday. 

Sigh. 

Life is just in a weird place lately. With job transitions and getting used to things, weather changes, and things like that, it's been a lot. Just a lot. In general. And knitting the honey cowl is relaxing, the yarn is soft and feels good in my fingers, I like the way the pattern feels, I like watching it get bigger. So that's what I'm working on. I'm trying to not feel guilty about it. I do feel a bit guilty about it. It's okay though, I have time to work my emotions about everything out.

Probably while laying on the couch watching vines about puppies.

It's about 3inches long so I have 8 more inches to go!

It's so lovely though 

It's coming along so nicely though 

I'm also struggling with the fact I don't think I'm as fast of a knitter as others, or as good as them. I'm really doubting myself and being really hard on myself lately. And I'm so tired, and have had terrible migraines and stomachs lately. I'm a mess LOL. Oh well, what can you do? FrogGetItAboutIt and move on. So is life.

Today's blanket square is a tired one. In bamboo stitch.

Exhausted cables

I am exhausted. I haven't been sleeping well. I am so tired. Between frequently waking up, The Husbando waking me up when he gets off work at night, and no fan it's been tough. And then Lucy has started barking relentlessly in the morning, around 2am. My parents let her out, give her food, and cuddle her but still she barks. I am so tired.

And today I am going to see what I need to do to inform my insurance that I am married. So it's a day of busy stuff and out of the house stuff and all I want is a nap.

Luckily the insurance just needed to see my social security card and that was that. So it was quick and easy. And I got some car knitting done.

My project bag is from Joann Fabrics and was on clearance. I'm working the Furrowed Rib which is easy to remember in some soft alpaca yarn from the farmer's market in town. 

And when we got home mom made lunch and I finished knitting the back of the Furrowed Rib Teddy Bear Surprise Thing. Now I have a front and a back! And it's used all of my stitch markers!

The horse stitch markers were made by AJ aka KniCroManiac and the Harry Potter Gryffindor and Ravenclaw ones were made by ThePaupersCloset aka Shire Folk Yarn

So if I get the sleeves done and seem it all together and block it, I'll be down to.....

ONE SINGLE WIP!!! 

That's right folks, one singular WIP once I finish this! I know. I amaze myself.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves in excitement though. I just cast on for the sleeve of this project so. We will see. I'm just so tired today. And I just started reading The Girl on the Train. So far I don't understand what's going on and it's weird. Maybe it's because I'm exhausted. Maybe it's because it's weird. We will see.

Okay so it should be noted that I write these blog updates throughout the day. Slowly, little bits as my day goes by. I just read about half of this book. 

A little bit about me though: I wanted a baby. But the doctor told me that because of my bipolar disorder and the medication I am to be stable right now I can't have kids. It broke my heart. Like, shattered me into a million pieces and wrecked me three weeks from Thursday. 

This book is not a good book to read if you have been told you can't have kids. It's been very emotional and very distraught. And I'm much too exhausted for these kinds of emotions honestly. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to finish it. My brain feels soggy and wet and a little sad. This was not a cozy mystery at all. Blah.

Actually I just finished. The ending was lackluster and I didn't like it.

I'm really tired so I knit a tired square today. A four cable slanting right one. Or at least I tried but failed. Then I messed up my bind off. Obviously I need to go to bed. I'll try again tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Proverbs 15

I woke up cranky. The fan is broken so I'm not sleeping well, the dog got garbage out last night, the ash tray got knocked over in the wind outside last night as well and I was greeted with all these things before a "Good Morning" first thing. So I woke up REALLY REALLY REALLY CRANKY.

Livid is probably a better word. I was ready to burn some damn bridges. I think I even slammed a door at one point.

So when I opened my bible to do Sunday morning bible study, instead of using my bible promise cards as a compass point for where to start reading, I flipped to the back and found references of the word "anger" and flipped to Proverbs 15.

And it really took the umpf out of my anger. If I respond to harsh things angrily then I will just be adding to the fire, I need to try to step back, take a deep breath and control my tongue. 

I'm still cranky, but I'm trying to control the things I say and how I say them, as to not stir the pot any further.

So then I took a deeeeeeeep breath and worked on The Rank and File dishcloth for this week's dishcloth KAL on Ravelry. I worked until it was done. Because knitting makes me less cranky.

Knit with US size 8 bamboo needles and Red Heart Panther Pink yarn 

Finished and gifted to my sister.

It was a nice pattern, I like the texture and I learned a lot from it. Like I shouldn't use bamboo needles when a pattern calls for so many slips. My aluminum ones would have made it an easier and quicker knit. I messed up decreasing and ended up with 36 instead of 35 stitches, but k2tog on the next row seemed to fix this issue and my seed stitch border doesn't seem to suffer from it. It's not perfect, but I'm proud of it and my sister likes it so I'm happy. 

It feels good to finish a WIP! 

But overall, I'm still tired and I miss my fan. I'm grumpy and moody. But I have been minding my tongue. My mood square today is grumpy though. I tried to do Knot a twisted tie pattern for my square today and it doesn't show up, I think because it's too small, I'll try it again sometime because the pattern is so lovely and made by a friend of mine.

That's all for now, folks. I need a nap. And a drink, if only I drank LOL.